In a nation where terrorist attacks take place and no one knows about them, it’s important to have Romero Russo on our side.
Likely bitten at the Bowling Green Massacre, Kellyanne Conway appears to have been Zombified. She did not respond to numerous requests for interviews, but issued an Alternative Fact Sheet to all news media with the attached note:
I invite any of you who disagree with me and the President (who you treat so very unfairly) to discuss your concerns directly with me at lunch. It will be my treat. There will be fava beans and a nice Chianti. Kellyanne Conway, alternative human being
“This bites.” K. Conway
The actual Alternative Fact Sheet reads as follows: