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That’s the river Ystwyth, which flows into the sea at Aberystwyth. It chose that spot because ‘aber’ means ‘mouth’ in Welsh, though not the sort you eat gizzards with. I’ve never been to Aberystwyth but Curtis has. It was where he saw the sea for the first time. I saw the sea for the first time yesterday. So it could have been Y for Yesterday, but Ystwyth is more exotic, don’t you think? Not that there’s anything exotic about Aberystwyth. According to Curtis anyway, but I suspect he’s just blasé because he lives by the Mediterranean.
I didn’t actually go on the sea because my plan didn’t work out. I wanted to take the ferry to Calais, so I joined the queue and then a security man came up and said, ‘Sorry, no cats.’
‘What do you mean?’ I said. ‘I’m Smith, Terror of Tawnton, Lord High Clawncellor, reincarnation of…
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